So apparently, the internet is very much done with January, which I do understand (and sympathize with) quite a bit. However, every new month gives me a twinge of that whole life-is-moving-too-fast feeling, despite my love of a fresh start. I’m working this year to live in the moment a little more, because right now I wish away the weeks for the weekends, wherein I mostly sleep and maybe do a little socializing, but am otherwise 100% lazy.
I wrote about this several years ago, but I live a very all-or-nothing life. I go to work and work hard all day long. Down time in the office makes me agitated, so I am always actively working on something. The problem is that I then come home with no energy left and I have no motivation to do anything except lump on the couch and scroll through social media until bedtime. I also refuse to get enough sleep during the week, constantly run late to work, and end up exhausted on Friday night. So what do my weekends entail? Making up my sleep deficit by snoozing until noon, feeling crappy about sleeping in, and still being mostly unproductive except for errands and chores.
The real solution to this problem, that I have avoided in many ways for many years, is routine. Sure, I have a bedtime routine and a pretty set time when that happens, but I don’t structure any other part of my days or weeks. That’s what results in coming home from work and crashing, or spending my weekends jumping on every little meaningless chore or task that distracts me from anything important. I “never have time” for reading, crafting, journaling, or anything that would enrich my life. (And yes, that’s in quotes because I am fully aware that it’s an excuse and that it’s up to me to make time for what’s important to me.)
For February, I want to develop a daily schedule for my weekdays and weekends. I feel like doing so will improve a lot of my bad habits and the things I complain about, like always running late and procrastinating until the last minute. My whole life feels like a game of catch-up, and it’s exhausting. Routines are key – if I put it on a schedule, I don’t have to remember or decide to do something; it’s just supposed to happen on this day at this time. This isn’t to say that I won’t allow for changes if I really feel terrible, or something last minute pops up. But I have to have something down on paper, because otherwise I don’t muster up enough energy to push myself to do things organically.
(As for January goals… they weren’t pretty. I got through half of the month with daily yoga, but I’m having on again, off again pain in my neck and I couldn’t decide if the yoga was helping or hurting. I took a few days off completely, then never really picked back up with it. Getting to work on time? That was a total bust. I have no idea what’s wrong with my brain, but when I tell myself what time I want to be there, I always run a half-hour late. I work enough hours to make up for it, but I’m just waiting on pins and needles for the day I actually get in serious trouble for it. Which is stupid, because I’m just creating more anxiety for myself.)
What are your goals for February? Are you glad January is over? Am I the only one who panics a little that a whole month is already gone?