I can’t tell if February passes so quickly simply because it’s a short month, or also because it follows January, the longest month evvvver. Either way, here we are in March, where I always breathe a little internal sigh of relief.
Winter agitates me. I’ve been learning this the hard way over the past few years. I don’t really get depressed (this year I did, but it’s not common). For me, my anxiety just ramps up. I’m anxious about snow. I’m anxious about people having the stomach flu (hi, lifelong emetophobe over here!). I’m anxious about being anxious in all of the social situations that come up around the holidays. And for some reason, my body reacts worse to the cold than it does to excessive heat.
Once we turn the calendar to March, it’s like a light at the end of the tunnel. I can see spring on the horizon. We may still have snow and frigid weather, but it’s almost over. That’s part of the reason I always wanted a spring wedding – as much as I do love summer and fall, spring is refreshing and comforting to me. It doesn’t have the oppressive heat like summer does, but you can still enjoy being outside. Spring is like the Friday of seasons to me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t really tackle my main goal of setting schedules for myself this month, so I’m carrying it forward into March. The other big goal is to make a doctor’s appointment and get blood work done, because now it’s officially been Way Too Long since I’ve been to the doctor. My reward for making the doctor’s appointment will be to take the day off when I get my blood drawn – I’m not afraid of needles, necessarily, but I am freaked out by the process of drawing blood and often hyperventilate and get lightheaded. My doctor’s office does blood work on site and has appointments Friday mornings, so I promised myself once I get it on the calendar, I’ll take a vacation day and have a three-day weekend.
I did get a lot of small things done in February. There were some nagging to-do list items around the apartment, like reorganizing a few storage bins so that they make more sense and decluttering some clothes. I had friends over mid-month, which is always a nice kick in the ass to clean everything up. I finally mailed a donation box of some bras and toiletries to my local chapter of I Support The Girls, which is a great organization because they actually take gently-worn bras, and I had a ton.
I’m also enrolled in Reclamation, which is a 10-month program through Stratejoy that helps you examine yourself and your life, and February was our first month. I’m only a little bit behind (no surprises there), but it has been so helpful to be held accountable for taking time to focus on my thoughts and emotions, instead of just ignoring and numbing everything.
March always feels so bright to me, and so hopeful. I can’t wait to really get to work on making these improvements to my life.
What is your favorite season? Does winter stress you out too?